I’m three weeks in to Grow a New Body by Alberto Villoldo and it’s been challenging and rewarding in equal measure.
This program came to me about four weeks ago in the form of a friend who must’ve read my mind. I was feeling very strongly to do a cleanse AND a vision quest. Lo and behold… a protocol, hand delivered to me, that contains both!
One thing that really resonates about Villoldo’s approach is that of a physical detox for spiritual purpose - providing clarity, expansion of consciousness, and personal growth. His many insights are intuitive and divinely guided but all backed by science.
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So far, I’ve experienced the truest, deepest hunger pains. Showing me what it feels like to look into the face of fear - into the face of death. Dramatic? Maybe. Real? Yes.
By moving through the experience of hunger and food restriction (in a healthy way), we transcend the ego and realize we can last a very, very long time without food. But next, we face the truth of our own mortality. With or without food, death is imminent. Especially without food, death is imminent.
“If we don't get what we need, life won't go on.” Sound familiar?
This is a common response to the trivial trials of modern day life.
Food is the conjunction between necessity and desire. Between conscious and unconscious. This is a dangerous, slippery slope of a reward system. Especially given the standard American diet, which has become normalized through the food pyramid and modern day convenience (fast food, industrial agriculture, factory farming, GMO, use of pesticides/ chemicals, sugar, caffeine, etc. etc. etc.).
Recently I heard this analogy:
We are like the soil (most of the soil in US agriculture is absolute garbage) - depleted of nutrients and mineralization. We must first take care of the soil (the body), the place where growth happens, in order to fully flourish!
It's no wonder we're all living on edge and tweaking out most of the time. Today, most of what could be a mundane inconvenience is treated as a very threatening response by the body, mind, and spirit. Causing destruction, devastation, and deeper patterning to react, respond, and live in these same ways. And so the cycle continues!
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Right now, I am going through it. I’m hungry, exhausted, and craving… anything. Participating in this weekend’s works have thrown me off schedule in so many different ways. Fasting window, supplementation, sleep, manual labor (to name a few!), all having their effects.
To let something so strong and forceful move through me is a difficult practice. Physically I feel sick, like I could throw up. Mentally I want to eat - I want to give into that urge, that craving, that fear that tells me I need food and I need it now.
Deeper, there are parts of me (physically and emotionally) holding on for dear life. This process is no joke!
Cleansing means clearing out by products of trauma, resistance, fear, among many other negative emotions and lower vibrational patterns.
The gut holds onto the shit we do not need - literally and metaphorically. While the physical process of detox is hard, the emotional one is even harder.
This process pushes our edges, forcing us to work with the things we’ve managed to avoid for so long.
Most interesting to me, is my own resistance. A subconscious aversion to doing what's best for me. Resistance to life, to fully thriving, to what could be.
We all experience this at different times, to different degrees, for different reasons, related to different situations.
Wtf is that about???
Why is it that we hold ourselves back from being the best we can possibly be?
From enjoying life to the fullest?
From "having it all"?
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Although challenging, the process of uncovering my “lower self” has been fantastic and rewarding - a great teacher indeed.
Today, I am grateful for Alisa, my dear friend and sister who is walking me through this part of my journey! Thank you for helping me to realize more deeply what is going on in my process and for giving me clarity and encouragement to stay the course. To not “feed” into the fear that will result in (even slight) derailment. And in fact, to use this feeling/ experience to go even deeper. Deeper into the pain, into the process.
Pain doesn't go away if we mask it… We must overcome that which challenges us.
It’s in trying times, the biggest growth occurs.
The choice must be made... Double down on transformation or succumb to fear inside?
I'm going all in!
I trust pushing my body and spirit for the highest good.
I trust the cyclical nature of healing and the process of life.
I trust all the rich foods, supplementation, and earth medicines that are supporting me on this journey.
I trust letting go, leveling up, and dropping in.
I trust being here now.
I trust being fully present.
I trust Divine guidance.
I trust love and support from myself and others.
Most people think having a coach is a luxury, for me it's a necessity. If you want to exceed and excel in life you need someone who can push you. Someone who has paved the way, walked the path; who can show you the light, hold the space, and be the support! We were put on this planet to help one another. I’m eternally grateful for these guides in every area and aspect of my life. Thank you for your presence, guidance, support, and love!
Much Love to All,
Emily
