February - the month of love!
The final push of winter and the coldest month here in the Northern Hemisphere. A month that can feel dark and heavy for so many. Not just literally, but metaphorically, too.
For me, the theme of February is that of self-love.
A powerful tool for those who are IN love.
And the antidote for the cold, harsh loneliness that winter can bring.
Is self-love the same as self-care? What does “self-love” even mean?? And what does it actually look like?
Self-love is a practice - a way of thinking, being, and living, that many of us are truly unfamiliar with.
Unfortunately, most of us have been tricked into consumerism as an act of self-care and a form of self-love. When in reality this “treat yourself” mentality that we’ve adopted takes us further and further from the love we are seeking. It encourages us to seek outside ourselves for the missing puzzle piece, for the ultimate key to happiness! But in the end, it only leaves us wanting more, more, more. Leaving us isolated, lost, and empty. Rinse and repeat.
“Great business model” - horrible life model.
So what’s the antidote? Self-love, of course!
This concept is somewhat abstract. I wish I could lay out a universal, stepwise process for developing deep and meaningful self-love, but it looks different for most.
What works for you might not be right for the next person. This is because we are different - we have different stories, traumas, triggers, and relationships that ultimately strain the relationship we have with ourselves. We’re all on the same path of healing that ONE relationship - but in different ways, at different times, and for different reasons.
But don't let this discourage you, the answer is actually relatively simple… The key is finding what works for you; what feels good for you.
It’s usually something sincere and meditative - going beyond the superficial. Into the social, emotional, and even the spiritual part of our being. Especially the spiritual part of our being.
For me, this looks like s l o w i n g down, being less critical and judgmental, being honest with myself about what I want and need in life, about what my soul came here to experience, honoring that, following that, needing less, doing more, taking aligned action, taking care of my physical body, meditating, breathing, resting, in-joying all that life has to offer! Embracing the ups, embracing the downs - and learning from ALL of life.
Self-love takes practice, patience, and persistence. It might feel clunky and awkward at first - but is this not par for the course when it comes to learning a new skill? And if you want to get better at something, what do you do? You practice. Practice. Practice. And if you want to get really good, what do you do? You work with a coach, a specialist - someone who knows the in’s and out’s of what you're dealing with. Someone who holds you accountable. Someone who holds space for your process - for you to transform, figure it out, and come alive! Someone who helps you think outside the box - to develop new skills, techniques, and approaches. To go all the way in - push yourself, your limits, and explore! Someone who helps you to accomplish that which you did not think was possible. But that which is meant for you, and only you.
Don’t give up or get discouraged. This loving relationship with self is the first step to creating the life of your dreams.
So, no matter if you are celebrating the month of love with the love of your life or your oh so single self, remember to consciously, consistently, and completely LOVE YOUR SELF. And with the springtime, just like light brings new life to the Earth, this love will bring new life to you.
Live your Truth
& Love to All,
Emily
